People do like there moose meat well aged.  But rotting putrid corpse might be a bit much, but hey its a rock festival. They'll eat anything when they have got the Munchies 
          
| |
|
#3251
by Citizen Paguma - 6/7/2004 5:24:10 PM
| My brother has a great US customs story. |
|
Well that tops mine by quite a bit! I just thought it was kind of annoying because in about 30 trips to the USA, I've never had any problems before. Well, once I got selected for the random search 3 times in one trip. The funniest part about that, was it was twice in the same airport! I don't know what I was wearing that day, but it obviously made someone uncomfortable!  I got a random search at check-in in San Jose. Then again as I was getting on the plane in San Jose. Then a 3rd time when I got to Toronto. I had to laugh by then...
Of course, even today, I didn't really have a lot of problems, other than the guy looked very angry. What annoys me the most about customs is how it is so arbitrary and inconsistent. It basically comes down to how the person working feels on that day. In some airports they're very lax, in others they are more strict. Then again, it varies at the same airport from person to person.
Besides, what risk is there in letting me in. I mean, I'm a Canadian, what am I going to do?
P.S. As I'm typing this, the Simpsons episode where they go to Toronto is on... Irony...
    
| |
|
| Besides, what risk is there in letting me in. I mean, I'm a Canadian, what am I going to do? |
|
For sure, what risk do white christian Canadains pose. We don't get any virgins when we die. Where only allowed one technically when were alive. Same brother's wife had to take off her shoes at the airport to make sure she did not have a shoe bomb. Not to be racest, but the terrorists were all Muslims from the middle east or other people of color so leave us mainstream Canadians alone.
I love it when people say not to be racest. Then of course they say something totally racest. Hope I did not cross that line.
[Message Edited]
| |
|
| We get no virgins when we die. Where only allowed one technically when were alive. |
|
ED, can I interest you in some *only slightly used* Altarian slave girls... all you've got to do is hop over the fence and join us for the month. 
  
| |
|
| ED, can I interest you in some *only slightly used* Altarian slave girls... |
|
Only slightly used for training purposes? Sure could use a nice back rub from all that Gal Civ I have been playing. 
| |
|
| Sure could use a nice back rub from all that Gal Civ I have been playing. |
|
Get them to play for you, on the good side of course. Now, that would be irony
 
| |
|
Weyr maybe we could get the pirates to intercept one of Dooms Altarian Slave girl frieghters and get our hands on these slave girls that way.
| |
|
| Weyr maybe we could get the pirates to intercept one of Dooms Altarian Slave girl frieghters and get our hands on these slave girls that way. |
|
And what makes you think the pirates would hand them over after they'd got them? You good guys are so naive and blindly trusting - you've got no chance in a dirty fight.
| |
|
| what makes you think the pirates would hand them over after they'd got them? |
|
A big bank roll and some booze.
| |
|
| get the pirates to intercept one of Dooms Altarian Slave girl frieghters |
|
Nah. I grow my own. Huge fields of Altarian pods...
Reminds me of the Matrix...
| |
|
|
|
| This happens to me quite often. This I so stupid because they usually run them through the metal detector. Prety sure the shoe bomb would have been plastic explosives, not metal. It's better to rub them with that pad they use on electronics |
|
The guy who had the shoe bomb was a retard. I don't think any normal functioning human being would try it. Stub your toe and blow yourself to kingdom come. They had some expert say that shoe bomb could take the plane down but it was a stretch. Shoe bombs are not much of a threat and I think they would come up with something smarter then that now.
[Message Edited]
| |
|
Why is that dick head Fraser reffing this game? He is the best the NHL has? He to busy looking at his hair in glass to see the play.
Newfy get me another beer.
| |
|
|
|
| if anyone can make a game of it, it is the flames |
|
And game they made for the last 10 min of the 3rd. Too bad they didn't show up a bit earlier. Well, i guess congrats to the Lightning. And now I'm back to rooting for Dallas for next season (seriously thinking about changing teams...)
| |
|
|
|
KABOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!! The Lightning strike hits Damoose and he comes out of his cabin with the hair smoking!!!!!
GO TAMPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Stanley Cup stays here in Florida (in other words that sounds weird, we don't even have snow here) 
| |
|
|
|
Flames lost, Tampa Won. A lot of things have been said and still could be said about this series.
I think that it was one of the best played series I have seen in quite some time. Fast hockey, good offense and defense. You gotta like it even if the wrong team won.
 
| |
|
|
|
They won because they ride the best cars in the whole world, here are few samples
 Link
| |
|
And because they speak in pure English also
this is a small contribution from their dictionary
Redneck Southern Dictionary
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting
2) HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"
3) BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow". Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
4) JAWJUH - (noun) - the state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to
Lanner."
5) BAMMER - (noun) - the state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvments."
6) MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar dvision. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
7) THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
8) BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a nutter bare."
9) IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native". Usage: "Them Bammer boys shore are ignert!"
10) RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "Ah thank ah left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
11) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "Ah shore hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
12) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thang's gonna catch far."
13) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, ah hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
14) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, ah shore do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
15) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
16) FAT - (noun and verb) - A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup yuh."
17) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
18) CHEER - (adverb) - In this place. Usage: "Jest set that bare rat cheer."
19) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddin't unnerstan a wurd he sed... mus be from some farn country."
20) DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."
21) ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen. Usage: "He cain't breath ... give 'im some are!"
22) BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that there bob war fence."
23) JEW HERE - (pronoun and verb) - Contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?
24) HAZE - (pronoun and verb) - A contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart? Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."
25) SEED - (verb) - Past tense of "to see". Usage: "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City."
26) VIEW - (verb and pronoun) - Contraction. Usage: "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City ... view?"
27) GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."
28) FIXIN' - (verb) - Preparing to. Usage: "Ah's just fixin' to do that now."
| |
|
Redneck horoscope
What's Your "REDNECK" Sign?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some of us (especially REDNECKS) are pretty skeptical of horoscopes, and it has become obvious that what we need are our own "REDNECK" symbols:
OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20) - Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.
CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19) - Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he's motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.
BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - Mar 20) - You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.
MOON PIE (Mar 21 - Apr 20) - You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Or - maybe not.
POSSUM (Apr 21 - May 21) - When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won't work and you may find your problems actually running you over.
CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21) - Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room. You tend to be not particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.
COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23) - Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the "melting pot" of life and share their essence with the essence of those round them.. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.
CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23) - Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one's whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.
GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23) - Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.
BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23) - You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best - your friends and loved ones - may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.
BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22) - Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.
ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21) - You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today. You're really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another somewhat kinky, mating possibility.
| |
|
I think that there is something wrong with the redneck ... er, I mean something wrong with the renegade.
| |
|
Tough loss, but I guess there are some happy people in New York. Great choice of officials. So close.
| |
|
|
|
|
