Canadian Joke
An American is having his (coffee, croissants, bread, butter
and jam) when a Canadian man, chewing gum, sits down next to
him.
The American ignores the Canadian who, nevertheless, starts
a conversation.
Canadian: "You American folk eat the whole bread?"
American (in a bad mood): "Of course."
Canadian: (after blowing a huge bubble)"We don't. In Canada,
we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container,
recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to
America." The Canadian has a smirk on his face.
The American listens in silence.
The Canadian persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"
American: "Of Course."
Canadian: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling).
"We don't. In Canada we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then
we put all the peels, seeds,and left overs in containers,
recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to
America."
The American then asks: "Do you have sex in Canada?"
Canadian: "Why of course we do", the Canadian says with a big
smirk.
American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've
used them?"
Canadian: "We throw them away, of course."
American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container,
recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them
to Canada."
| |
|
Another one and I will stop spamming the undead thread
A dad walks into a market followed by his ten-year-old son. The kid is
spinning a 25 cent piece in the air and catching it between his teeth.
As they walk through the market someone bumps into the boy at just the
wrong moment and the coin goes straight into his mouth and lodges in his
throat. He immediately starts choking and going blue in the face and
Dad starts panicking, shouting and screaming for help.
A middle-aged, fairly un-noticeable man in a grey suit is sitting at a
coffee bar in the market reading his newspaper and sipping a cup of
coffee. At the sound of the commotion he looks up, puts his coffee cup
down on the saucer, neatly folds his newspaper and places it onthe
counter. He gets up from his seat and makes his unhurried way across the
market. Reaching the boy (who is still standing, but only just)the man
carefully takes hold of the kid's balls and squeezes gently but firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the 25
cent piece, which the man catches in his free hand.
Releasing the boy, the man hands the coin to the father and walks back
to his seat in the coffee bar without saying a word. As soon as he is sure
that his son has suffered no lasting ill- effects, the father rushes
over to the man and starts effusively thanking him. The manlooks
embarrassed and brushes off the father's thanks. As he's about to leave,
the father asks one last question: I've never seen anybody do
anything like that before - it was fantastic - what are you, a surgeon or something
like that?
Oh, good heavens no the man replies
"I work for Revenue Canada."
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
This is the link for the jokes  Link
so have fun
This is the last joke
US Condom Factory Blows Up
President Bill Clinton called Chretien with an emergency: "Our largest
condom factory has exploded!" the American President cried. "My people's
favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"
"Bill, the Canadian people would be happy to do anything within their power
to help you," replied the Prime Minister.
"I do need your help," said Clinton. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000
condoms ASAP to tide us over?"
"Why certainly! I'll get right on it!" said Chretien.
Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Clinton.
"Yes?"
"Could the condoms be red, white & blue in color; at least 10" long and 4"
in diameter?" said Clinton.
"No problem," replied the Prime Minister and, with that, Chretien hung up
and called the President of Trojan. "I need a favor, you've got to make
1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to America."
"Consider it done," said the President of Trojan.
"Great! Now listen, they have to be red, white & blue in color; at least
10" long and 4" in diameter."
"Easily done. Anything else?"
"Yeah," said the Prime Minister, "and print 'MADE IN CANADA; MEDIUM SIZE'
on
each one."
| |
|
This one is good too
A Separatist Statue
A man finds an old bronze statue of a rat in an antique store.
The shopkeeper says: "It's $10 for the statue, but $100 for the story
that goes with it."
The man skips the story, hands over $10, and starts to walk home with
the statue under his arm.
On the way, hundreds of rats start to follow along behind him.
The man runs to the nearest bridge and throws the statue in the water.
To his amazement all the rats follow the statue
and leap off the bridge to their deaths.
When the man returns to the store the owner says: "You've come back
for the story of the statue."
The man says: "No, I was wondering if you might have a bronze statue
of a Separatist."
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
That little link is something I have bookmarked on my Netscape for when I need a bit of motivation to not sleeping. 
        
| |
|
|
|
|
|
I had a heck of a time getting in about 7 hours earlier today.
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
They sound qualified for the CSF.
