 |
|
 |
 |
 |
The Prancing Pony (Fellowship of the Ring Empire Thread)
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| (Evil) Shave the kitten! Then force it to work in our factories! Then shoot it! Twice! (+36% Planet Quality bonus). |
|
Oh my God, this is the funniest thing I've read in days!!! 
          
| |
|
| Matthew, would you let me know if you are succesful? |
|
Seems to have been successful, yes. Needs more testing, but I can help you if you want your events to be more dramatic in effect.
Tell me, do you have a Fellowship character alter ego? With a species and/or job (eg human warrior)? I'm trying to write another story and the cast is looking a bit threadbare.
   
| |
|
#677
by Citizen Nastavnik - 2/25/2004 9:31:05 AM
| Seems to have been successful, yes. Needs more testing, but I can help you if you want your events to be more dramatic in effect. |
|
Yes, I'd apreciate that
| Tell me, do you have a Fellowship character alter ego? |
|
Don't think so, but I was asked this before, I think it was Ray, when I first joined. I told him I didn't know, since I'm no a Lotr expert.
| With a species and/or job (eg human warrior)? |
|
I remember telling him then that my wife (when she saw the movies) immediatelly classified me as a Hobbit, because of my hairy feet . However, Nastavnik, in russian, means something like Professor. maybe all this will help you  .
| I'm trying to write another story and the cast is looking a bit threadbare. |
|
Yes there aren't many left. Maybe if we had some multiple-personnalities disorder it would help 
    
| |
|
Don't know why, but I always invisioned Nastavnik as a Cavalier or Ranger from the Northern Wastes...
| |
|
|
|
Responsibility
Downie stood before the Fellowship Halls, and took off his furry adventuring hat so as to better scratch his head. The doors were hanging off their hinges. What had happened? Some sort of unexpected massacre by the orcs? It seemed unlikely.
He stepped inside.
There was nothing and no-one there. Everyone had gone. Everything not nailed down had been looted. Only the towers remained untouched, and they were locked.
He began to search for other known Fellowship haunts. There was a bar, The Prancing Pony, which he had always shunned in the past, but perhaps it was time...
The door swung open. It was empty, but for a drunken diplomat in one corner, muttering vaguely to himself, and one other.
“Hail, fellow,” said the burly figure, like a giant dwarf (or maybe a really short giant), upon seeing him.
“Ah, uh, Nasty Nick, isn’t it?” said Downie, who never bothered memorising names of people who’d probably be dead in fifty years anyway.
“Navastnik.”
“Whatever. So, what’s been going on around here? Where’s Théoden, my plucky comic-relief sidekick? How about Lothmorg, that loveable scamp with a heart of pure malice? Or Terl, the witty satirist? Or Greldon, the... other one?”
“All gone. The Fellowship’s been decaying from within for ages. Hadn’t you noticed?”
“Yeah? Then why are you still here?”
Navastnik raised his glass for emphasis. “My motto: Never retreat. Never surrender. Never play poker with a guy named after a city.”
Downie shook his head. “It’s all my fault... I must have driven them away.”
“Don’t blame yourself.”
“No, it’s true. I must have been so witty and clever that I made them all feel inferior. It’s the only explanation that makes sense. I try to tone down my brilliance, but it’s not easy, even for someone as brilliant as me.”
“Well, what about the lack of leadership from the top?”
“That’s true. I also provided a lack of leadership.”
“That wasn’t your job!”
“Who else was qualified?”
“Ray?”
“Good point. I’ve got a bone to pick with him.”
“Oh, by the way, there was a woman looking for you...”
At once, Downie looked around nervously. “If you see her, tell her I plummeted to my death while fighting a balrog. That should buy me some time.”
“What if you run into her and she finds out you’re not dead?”
“Oh, I’ll make up some silly excuse...”
As he spoke, the door swung open, and a lady walked in, carrying a small baby in her arms. Downie uttered a girlish squeal.
“Ah, I’ve found you at last,” she said.
“Milady! How have you been? You’re looking well!” said Downie.
“Silence! You assured me that elves and humans are not biologically compatible, you lying melraug.”
“Your Sindarin is coming along apace, I see. Anyway, most of the time, they aren’t. I’ve been living irresponsibly for centuries, and it’s the first time this has ever happened, as far as I know. Can you even prove that the child is mine?”
“She’s got pointy ears!”
“So do the Yor. Doesn’t prove anything.”
“And you ran out on me as soon as you found out.”
“Nonsense. I had to go. I was needed, to save the galaxy or something.”
Milady snarled. She no longer wore her shardmail armour, he noticed, having switched to an outfit that didn’t violate child-safety laws, and had cropped her raven tresses short for convenience.
“Anyway,” said Downie, changing tack, “I only left for the duration of the pregnancy. I have delicate sensibilities, you know, and didn’t want to see you look all bloated and unattractive. I always meant to come back to help raise the little sprog.”
“Fine. You can start now. Spend the rest of today raising her. I need to raise some money.”
“But I’m on a dangerous quest to bring the elves back to middle-earth!”
“Yeah, like I never heard that one before.”
Downie sat with the baby in his arms. He tried a lullaby.
Sleep, little baby.
With sweet pointy ears
I’ll stay with you, maybe
For years and for years.
Orcs will not eat you
Of that, have no fears.
And to ensure I won’t beat you
Cry no tears, cry no tears.
It didn’t seem to work. She started crying.
“Oi!” said the barman. “No children.”
Downie fired two arrows from his warharp simultaneously, neatly pinning the barman’s shirt to the wall.
“Fair enough,” he said, and walked out. He needed to be somewhere with good childcare provision, and fantasy realms are not noted for the quality of their crèches. He needed to be somewhere else.
Later, somewhere out in the Metaverse:
“Tell you what,” said Downie, from the throne room of Earth. “I’ll give you one influence point instead. How does that sound?”
“Oh, no. We’re not falling for that one again,” said the Drengin High-Provoker. “Hey, who’s the kid?”
“That’s my daughter,” said Downie.
“She looks lovely,” said the Drengin, salivating.
Downie terminated the conversation, and sighed. “Switch our factories to the production of anti-matter missiles,” he said to his assistant.
(To be continued...)
| |
|
This thread is sooooo funny and interesting too. Matthew you are so funny you could fill in for Jon Stewart on The Daily Show (Comedy Central Cable TV Channel). Every comedy fan should check that show out.
I have been busy with real life stuff lately but have to play soon so I don't become a dormant veteran. Sorry, I couldn't keep a ring in 5th place but Greldon is too good, too often. .
The forum has been full of requests on how to modify morality events so Matthew's mods could be very popular. Go 4 it Mr. Downie. 
Well, I am glad 1.2 is out because now Stardock can work on AP, the post-beta release, right?
Take care.
  
| |
|
Sorry for busting in on your thread, but that story just cracked my up...can't wait to hear what happends next
 
| |
|
Nice one, MD!
[mutters] He knows me so well...
 
| |
|
Sleep, little baby.
With sweet pointy ears
I’ll stay with you, maybe
For years and for years.
Orcs will not eat you
Of that, have no fears.
And to ensure I won’t beat you
Cry no tears, cry no tears.
|
|
I'll be singing this to my baby daughter tonight!
 WAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
“No, it’s true. I must have been so witty and clever that I made them all feel inferior. It’s the only explanation that makes sense. I try to tone down my brilliance, but it’s not easy, even for someone as brilliant as me.”
|
|
You've finally realized it...we left because of Downie!
Great story, you crazy elf! 
| |
|
| you could fill in for Jon Stewart on The Daily Show (Comedy Central Cable TV Channel |
|
Don't think we can get that in the UK. But, thanks to the magic of the internet, here's a Jon Stewart quote for y'all.
| I’ve been to Canada, and I’ve always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days. |
|
| Matthew's mods could be very popular |
|
I haven't been doing them very whole-heartedly. (I didn't even implement the kitten one, for fear that it might be detrimental to the science-fictional atmosphere.) Apart from anything else, you're supposed to provide the artwork yourself. I don't do pictures.
Just played another game to test my new events. Not very successful. You'd think when you got something like -15% soldiering for your empire, it would have more effect than 3 alignment change. I'm going to reduce the number of events to about four for an experiment, and play a partial game just to test the relationship between quantity, type, weighting factor and alignment. I'm hoping to find something other than cash that it thinks is a significant sacrifice.
Quite an odd game otherwise (Maso Large). I got some reasonable territory at the start, but was beaten to my favourite trade goods (DT & GA) and people sent me very few freighters. Then, after a while (with virtually no events at all), I got the fundamentalist special. The thing is, I'd set all the AI's to pure evil. Because of this, two of the majors were wiped out, the rest reduced to a remnant, and the fundies became the dominant power in the game. The nice thing was, they were willing to trade me money for things, finally getting me out of debt.
Later, the Vegans appeared, and I extracted 15,000BC per turn for 30 turns from them. Not that I needed it, but it's fun to torment new minors.
The Torians, having had a social upheaval making them good, were now the only major not to have been driven to surrender by the fundies, and I noticed two of their three systems had uncolonised PQ 14 planets. Well, normally I'm a pacifist, but I just couldn't resist the temptation of two potential planetary events. So I took those two worlds, and managed to get up to alignment 100. Sometimes, you have to slaughter Torians to achieve pure goodness.
| |
|
|
|
Yes, I'm starting to think the size of the number penalty is the only thing that counts. -35BC is treated as being more serious than an empire-wide -25% planet quality reduction.
| |
|
|
|
|
|
J4. Hmmm. That sounds like a YOR designation. Are you a YOR spy? 
| |
|
|
|
|
|
| an empire-wide -25% planet quality reduction |
|
HOW could you achieve that? I suppose you have written specific event. More, I don't think that the ability has any influence on the outcome. So it is better to stick to planet-wide penalties: hurt less your other planets 
    
| |
|
|
|
|
|
| Only empire wide penalties should give you a big push in alignement. |
|
Not even a -40% production reduction in the polar caps event?
| |
|
| But if that means I'd have a +25 alignement shift |
|
Maximum shift is always ten.
| |
|
#698
by Citizen Nastavnik - 2/26/2004 5:34:28 AM
| Not even a -40% production reduction in the polar caps event? |
|
I agree this one makes the planet almost useless, unless if you develop it with all improvements. What I was meaning is that if the alignement change is a function of the number (whatever it represents: bc's, PQ, production) then having a 2000bc paiement for a good option would give you a big push (for relatively little effort). And it would be incoherent that even a 40% drop in PQ would have a lesser impact.
I was thinking of increasing the amounts demanded in the events, but if Matthew is correct that would make raching pure good too easy, and that was not my objective. I just wanted to make it faster (say 5-10 point shifts at each time +/-) but much more expensive. Right now I had some really crippling events (morale, production & PQ penalties) only giving you a 1 point change. That would make it take forever to reach pure good (and events are not frequent enough for that: in my last 5-6 games I've only picked good choices, and in several I'm just chaotic good). On the other hand, whenever there is an event asking for money, I always pick the good choice without even considering the others: it is such a small amount of money and it gives you a big push towards goodness.  . I think it should be the other way around: money is a small way to proove your good heart. Just showsw that you have plenty of money in your wallet! But deciding to live only in the polar caps because we want to protect some primitive life form, because we respect life above all, that should make you have a big goodness bonus. See my point?
[Message Edited]
| |
|
| I'll be singing this to my baby daughter tonight! |
|
My lyrics were no more disturbing than 'Rock-a-bye baby on the tree top'.
| |
|
|
|
|
|
 |
 |
|
 |
Copyright 1995-2024 Stardock Corporation. All rights reservered.
Site created by Pixtudio and Stardock, designed by Pixtudio.
|
 |
