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Special Forces OpCentre
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Jaxom - well, it IS based on appearances, and since I look in the mirror every morning...  Now, if you would care to give me a brief description of yourself, perhaps we could suggest a suitable actor to play you 
Goblin: why would we not mention our fired-up pirate killing machine? 
          
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~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~The End~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
Chapter 2
~Almost to the Midpoint~
The Chief Magistrate of Education paced back and forth across the creaking wooden floors much to the vexation of his pupil. His penguin waddle created a very distinctive creeeak-crack noise with every step.
“Master Hurlson, I can’t concentrate!” the teenage wombat protested. No response.
Concentrating on the blossoming flowers outside, imagining he was somewhere other than inside a stuffy classroom, the pupil continued to search in vain for an answer to his teacher’s question.
SMACK! Master Hurlson slapped the young lad on the back of his head.
“I come from a long line of highly educated penguins, Victor Sirian-Wombat. I do not deliver private heritage lectures to the son of the Empress so that he may daydream!”
“Sorry, Master Hurlson.”
“Now tell me what the critical moment was in the epic war against the Altarians.”
Victor hesitated. “It was when... Karl Koala rammed his dreadnought into the Altarian flagship.”
“And what else? What was significant about that maneuver?”
“Um... Uncle Quack, excuse me, The Quack was being held captive onboard the Altarian flagship... along with Samurai Sam.” The prior night’s studying was starting to pay off for Victor. His pace quickened. “During the collision, Samurai Sam landed on The Quack’s head, which miraculously induced a mind link with the Altarian’s Grand Marshall. The two heroes then escaped by hiding in a trash bag that was ejected out into space. Once they were picked up, The Quack was able to reveal the Altarian’s entire strategy!”
“Very good, Victor. Except it wasn’t Samurai Sam. It was his daughter. Who is Samurai Sam’s daughter?”
Silence crept back into the classroom as Victor’s mind went blank. Master Hurlson slowly shook his head from side to side. “I’ll give you a hint. She used to baby-sit you.”
“Oh I forgot! Mammy! I mean... Samurai Mandy!”
The penguin rolled his eyes.
“But this isn’t history, Master Hurlson. Everyone who lived through this is still alive.”
“Everything in the past is history, young Victor. And it’s all important to your heritage! You may think the universe began with you, but... well it’s almost time for tea so why don’t you just summarize the major events from the start of the Last Altarian War to today.”
Victor cleared his regal throat. “The Altarians, who had finally deemed all Earthlings as unworthy, were defeated by an alliance between the Special Empire and the Sector of No Name. That unholy alliance was broken once my parents were married. The Special Empire and the Outer Realms are now crushing the vile sorcerers and…”
“Not so fast. Not so fast,” Master Hurlson insisted. “Don’t leave out all the juicy parts. You were conceived and born amidst the chaos of battle. It seems your parents couldn’t wait for their honeymoon. Emperor Julius Sirian lost the infamous coin toss and so was transmogrified into a wombat. This enabled your parents to...”
“Master Hurlson!”
“Right. Excuse me. Well it’s time for tea.” The penguin tapped a bell with his wing and a page appeared instantly.
“Your tea, Master Hurlson. Straight from Novabux. Jasmine with a touch of lemon. Lord Sirian-Wombat, your tea. Old Gray.”
~About Halfway~
The guests of Lord Furious II hung silently in the darkness of their prison cell. Rats waited impatiently, eager to taste the cold flesh that dangled above them. The outer gate stirred with the clicking sound of a key at work. Two figures entered, one all too familiar, the other new.
“The last of their kind, Victor.” Lord Furious II gestured to his five guests.
“Who are they?” the young wombat asked.
“This first one is Herbert Ricbayer-Vincible. He was captured while trying to steal one of our Excaliburs. A clever fellow, but not clever enough. He was distracted by the opportunity to sneak into the women’s locker-room. Once there, his invisibility spell was revealed by the intense steam of the showers.”
“Over here we have Gray Greldon, son of the infamous Greldon. It was easy to snatch him up because he was always smoking that awful pipe-weed. The same with this fellow, Jo Gengsta, who is of course the son of Gensta the Elder.”
“This poor chap is Pagross of Raven’s Claw. Though he’s not from the same sector, he has the same vile sorcerer blood running through his veins. We dropped in on his planet unannounced and wiped the entire population out. Fortunately for him, or perhaps unfortunately...” Lord Furious II paused for a sinister laugh. “He was inspecting a space vessel when we arrived.”
“This is my pride and joy!” he continued. “Ray Jin-hua is the grandson of the most renowned sorcerer of all time. We found him meditating in a cave just before his empire collapsed.”
Victor looked up at the pale, skinny figure. He could tell that the lad was about the same age as he. “What will happen to them?”
“Don’t worry yourself about that, Victor.” Lord Furious II ushered the young wombat back to the outer gate. “Let’s just say there’ll soon be no more sorcerers left in this universe.” Again, the sinister laugh.
...to be continued
   
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Sounds a bit like when the universe was carved up into my solar pact territory and my friends the altarians. I was looking forward to several more years of pressing the end turn butten until I won a tech victory and then the altarians turn evil. I invented the excalibur and then the ultra drive occured and my excaliburs, annihilater and judge, were moving 25 a month slaughtering Altarian avatars and overlords as I went. When I invented final frontier the altarians had nothing but a few battleaxes. It was me, the carinoids and the vegans against the altarians and their lackeys the debians.
 
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Thanks Kit - a beauty! Love the future history stuff....just make sure you get who sleeps with who right
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That's the easy part, Wombie. Everyone's descendents eventually sleep together. 
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This alternate reality stuff keeps making my head spin (although it might be the liquid diet)...who's this "Samurai Sam" that keeps taking my place in these stories, anyway? Kit, I think you're channelling Killa's muse. And either she doesn't like me, or she's drunk as well! 
Although the story is fantastic...keep 'em comin'!
Gerakken: I see the Spymaster has returned. Or maybe he never left, but was merely on a deep cover assignment. Good to hear from you, and welcome back to the asylum. And as long as you're here, have a drink...but stay away from Piers and that "Warp Core Breach" concoction of his, or you might wake up in two months on the far side of ANZAC space with a full beard, a long criminal record and a good start on a harem.
  
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Piers! One "Warp Core Breach" please!
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| Victor hesitated. “It was when... Karl Koala rammed his dreadnought into the Altarian flagship.” |
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Soooooo. Killetta did have a love child, as a result of her liaison with...but that's another story...
Poor Samurai...I just cottoned on to what you were saying. In my story I was calling you 'Samarai Sam'!!! At least Kit calls you 'Samurai Sam'... I actually think it flows better than Samurai Ben. But it's not my call.
Welcome back Gerakken. 
  
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#167
by Citizen CypherPax - 2/9/2004 4:22:15 PM
Wombie - Posted suggested recruitment pitch you know where. Then thought, I might as well repeat it hear as it may do some good:
The Special Forces Wants You:
Are you sick of your family and friends thinking you’re a perv because of all those awful wookie porn Holovids that Netromancer insists you take are filling your DVD drawers? Can’t park in your garage because of all those bouncy red balls the Torians gave you? Ticked off that the Drendins took your pet hamster and goldfish to power their death furnaces?
Then maybe, just maybe, the Special Forces are for you. We’ll help you become an army of one. (If you’re like Ginata/Tibet or Jaws – an army, marines, navy, and air force of one.)
If you enjoy gaming, fiction, and playing Galactic Civilizations until your paws, fins, wings, or hands fall off… then we can channel you gaming powers and introduce you a number of wines you might not otherwise have considered. Of course, constructive participation in our thread is always welcome regardless of your level of interest in joining.
The pay might not be great, but the benefits are worth it – particularly if you’re interested in remaining a part of a vibrant, informal network of International gamers and sci-fiction fans. If you think you have what it takes to join the Special Forces, then visit our empire page… Link Click the button and email the Iron Paw.
If you’re a newbie, we’d like you post on our thread and introduce yourself first. If you’ve been around, participate in the forums, and haven’t actively worked at insulting members of our empire or other empires… then you too can immediately be inducted into the closest knit, most elite fighting force in the Metaverse.
 
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Time to visit the Prancing Ponny, free drinks for everyone!!!
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Mmmm...ask for one of those Malta thingies they serve...Greldon - I'll buy you one, you need a break after all your hard work
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