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Since we are talking about cheese eating surrender monkeys, where are the French? We need some Euros in this thread. 
Sorry, I couldn't resist the French joke. Respect to the Euros.
        
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Don't forget that that not all French are in the Euros ...
If I am not mistaken, there are at least 2 French people in the FOTR + Diplo + Guardian Alliance 
    
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I know, and I am glad to have you, but the French joke was there! IT HAD TO BE MADE! If I could think of an American joke, I would make it, just to keep things equal. If anyone has one, go ahead and make it. It is always fun to laugh.
[Message Edited]
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I am sure that Mayito isn't french: when responding in french to french people, he was using a translator  .
Nastavnik (FOTR) is in France.
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Don't mess with the Irish/Scotish/Cuban or you are not be entitled to the reserves of Cuban cigars and rum I have "recovered" from the latest freighter.
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Uhh, whoops. I forgot who I was talking to. I knew that. [EDIT] I think I am going brain dead.
I fixed my stupidity, I don't like looking like an idiot, I act like one often enough.
[Message Edited]
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Me no parle france, Yo hablo español. Spanish. Borned and raised in Cuba my father was Irish/Scotish my mom Cuban, and I became a USA citizen in 2001. So that makes me Irish/Scottish/Cuban/American. Thank you very much. Muchas Gracias, spacibo bolshoe, mercy bocu. Thanke shen. Domo arigato, sayonara.
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| You'll be Lothmorg the Black and Blue after the trampling your puny alliance will receive. |
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Great one!
 
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Don't pay attention Lothmorg, they are just envious of your great talent. (notice the indirect subliminal trash talking addressed to those who are fearing for their lives already)
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| Thank you very much. Muchas Gracias, spacibo bolshoe, mercy bocu. Thanke shen. Domo arigato, sayonara. |
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I think we get the idea.
I took two years of French, don't remember a bit of it, and that is still painful to read. 
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How about this one
Bon matin. Comment faites-vous?
I like this one
Votre chien mange des déchets
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For those who speak french
Les Diplomates vont gouverner
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That is all my french outreach.
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I have little idea what you said. My French teacher was horrible. I think the first is good morning, how are you, and the second is something about a...dog?
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Your dog is eating trash. At least that is what my internet translator says. This is the link  Link
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G-Force it goes like this
Je suis et l'idiot
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Sorry, I will stop indirectly insulting other cultures. I need some American jokes! We have a crazy guy running for President! YEEAAHH!
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Jokes about the President
President Bush launched a PR campaign to improve his image and popularity. He decided to visit a primary school so he could explain his policy to the children. After explaining his policy to them, the President asked the children if they had any questions.
Little Stevie raises his hand and says, "Mr. President, I have three questions:
"1. How did you have fewer votes but were still elected president?
"2. Why do you want to attack Iraq with no motive?
"3. Don't you think Hiroshima was the biggest terrorist attack in history?"
At that moment, the bell rang and the children ran outside to play. At the end of the break the children returned and President Bush asked the children if they had any questions.
Little Eddie raises his hand and says, "Mr. President, I have five questions:
"1. How did you have fewer votes but were still elected president?
"2. Why do you want to attack Iraq with no motive?
"3. Don't you think Hiroshima was the biggest terrorist attack in history?
"4. Why did the bell ring 20 minutes early?
"5. Where is Stevie?"
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Redneck jokes
Hillbilly in the Army
Letter Home From the Hillbilly in the Army
Dear Ma and Pa:
Am well. Hope you are. Tell brother Walt and brother Elmer the Army beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 5 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late.
Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things -- no hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave, but it ain't bad, they git warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kinda weak on chops, potatoes, beef, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed gain. It aint no wonder these city boys can't walk much.
We go on "route marches," which, the Sgt. says, are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys all get sore feet and we ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat.
The Sgt. is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the school board. Colonels and
Generals just ride around and frown. They don't bother none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep gettin medals for shootin. I don't know why. The bull's-eye is near as big as a chipmunk and don't move. And it ain't shooting back, like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lay there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join up before other fellows get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Yore lovin daughter,
Gail
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Those are GREAT!!! This is what I meant. I'm American and I am laughing my butt off! I can barely type this!
FYI: I just heard on CNN: Bush and Kerry are related! I believe they said they are 16th cousins three times removed! How much time...
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These are my people from the South
They Be Pretty Smart Down South...
The average suth'ner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.
The average suth'ner knows pretty much how many fish make up a mess.
The average suth'ner knows what general direction "cattywumpus" is.
The average suth'ner knows that "gimme sugar"don't mean pass the sugar.
The average suth'ner knows when somebody's "fixin" to do something, it won't be long.
The average suth'ner knows how good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a country store.
The average suth'ner knows what, "Well, I Suwannee!" means.
The average suth'ner knows ain't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits!
The average suth'ner knows a good dog is worth its weight in gold.
The average suth'ner knows real gravy don't come from a store.
The average suth'ner knows when "by and by" is.
The average suth'ner knows how to handle their "pot licker".
The average suth'ner knows the difference between "pert' near" and "a right far piece".
The average suth'ner knows the differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash.
The average suth'ner knows never to go snipe hunting twice.
The average suth'ner at one point learned what happens when you swallow tobacco juice.
The average suth'ner knows never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
The average suth'ner knows you may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll 'em up past the elbows.
The average suth'ner knows you should never loan your tools, pick-up, or gun to nobody.
The average suth'ner knows rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.
The average suth'ner knows rocking chairs and swings with an old person in them are history lessons.
The average suth'ner knows you have to keep all valuables locked up and guard the watermelon patch for the same reasons.
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Well this is all for today. Peace to all and good gaming.
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